Bad Introduction

     After 23 years of my life passing me by I've decided to start putting my thoughts and feelings out there for everyone to candidly ingest. I'm a Registered Nurse with aspirations of becoming an Advanced Practice Registered Nurse, soon. Sometimes I feel like I am going to be a forever student. I've held numerous titles throughout my short (well lived) nursing career. I've worked in the Emergency Department, Surgery Departments and gave health clinics for the armed services. Maybe my changes in disciplines of nursing could show you that I am rather confused (or that I prefer variety) in my life.

    I grew up with struggles and a very loose knit family.... My parents were divorced at a young age and my dad met my second mother who had a huge impact on the person I am today. My sister was and is my rock; being 10 years older than I am she is, also, like a mother figure to me. My younger brother, who is 8 years younger than I am, is the opposite of everything I am and stand for, but that's what siblings are for. Tragedy struck me at a young age when my step-mom was ripped from our lives without a simple goodbye. I was 13 and had lost a mother figure, a role model and a friend. My family lost a strong women that was our guiding light. My little brother, 4 at the time, is now spending the rest of his life without a mother figure. Like a phoenix my family and I rose from the ashes and continued to conquer this thing called life. I later found myself in the mix of a family mess of pointing fingers of you're doing this wrong, blah blah blah. I moved to Tennessee in my freshman year of high school to encounter deception and turmoil deep within my father and family, thus causing me to move back to West Virginia and start living with my grandmother.

    I graduated high school at 14 out of my 89 students and started college aspiring my nursing career. My first December in the nursing program I lost my real (blood) mother to a pulmonary embolism. It was hard and I would ask the continuous question to "Why".... I knew that I had to continue and not let sadness take over because I had to finish school and make something of myself. I am strong. I made my way through nursing school crying and staying up late studying and constantly feeling like I was going to fail and not graduate. I graduated as Vice President of my class and now know that is my greatest accomplishment in life. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for overcoming those struggles and professionally setting myself here today.

    I have a great group of friends that I call my family and I have a son, named Henry "the cat".  I travel more than the average person and stay confused more than I am sane. Now to the reason why I created this blog: I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am currently experiencing my first (real and true) heartbreak. It hurts everyday and I am constantly searching for a way to mend this and heal my wounds that are continuously bleeding. Even through the heartache and anemia of love I find this heartbreak beautiful.  

Even in the hurt it reminds me that I was in love and I am still in love..... Just trying to find my way through what I am calling my greatest struggle in life. 

XOXO